ITEM: KFP-UT001 "KFP CHOPSTICKS"
Description: Chopsticks featuring a silicone Kotori mascot on the top. Manufacturer reports "concerning rhythm patterns" emerging in injection molds. Quality Control expresses increased distress over chopsticks' tendency to align themselves at "precise 45-degree angles optimal for visibility from stage.” Product Team demanded a carrying case come with these chopsticks citing “you never know when you might need emergency utensils at a concert.”
Notable Observations:
- Accounting notes concerning increase in idol merchandise purchases among testing staff
- Marketing advised that “superchats” can’t be expensed, and the coincidental link between the red color of superchats and some of the KFP brand colors is not an excuse (see Memo 31415-B)
- Chopsticks demonstrate unusual light-reflecting properties when exposed to stage lighting
- Team Members report intrusive thoughts about wotagei
- Management struggling to correct "excessive hip movement" during standard serving procedures when chopsticks are equipped
Incident Log KFP-UT001-9734:
Date: ██/██/24
Notes: Team Member H-8973 discovered leading unauthorized wotagei performance during dinner service. Security footage shows all present chopsticks illuminating in sync with Tenchou’s music, but Research Division would like to clarify that chopsticks are NOT designed to illuminate, and blame the security camera being too excited about Tenchou’s music. Team Member claims "the chopsticks taught me," despite no prior idol industry knowledge. Subsequent investigation revealed Team Member had purchased complete merchandise collection during lunch break, fervently stating that they had to support their “oshi,” but clarifying that there was no way they could be limited to one oshi but that they definitely had a “kami-oshi,” and that it was certainly Tenchou. When pressed further, their fervor seemed suspicious, like they were trying to cover up something, despite their protests otherwise. Determined by management to be very not #WOKE and very not #YOLK, and sent to the usual room, just in case.
Incident Log KFP-UT001-4444:
Date: ██/██/24
Notes: Quality Control discovered testing facility had been converted into concert venue overnight by Class C, subclass “chick” Team Members. Security footage shows normal testing facility until exactly 4:44 AM, at which point Incident Log KFP SC444-4 occured(see attached addendum). Investigation team reassigned to floor mopping duty, who expressed confusion as to what exactly was being “served” at the venue, as no foodstuffs were present at time of discovery.
Incident Log KFP-UT001-532:
Date: ██/██/24
Notes: Team Member C-5532 observed incorporating wotagei techniques into regular dining service. When questioned, Team Member insisted they were "just eating normally" while demonstrating perfect double-handed synchronization. Customers who followed suit reported increased satisfaction despite 44% reduction in actual eating efficiency.
Additional Notes:
- Research Division requests budget increase for glow stick storage.
- Team Members reminded that "the chopsticks made me do it" not valid excuse for impromptu performances in middle of service.
- Quality Control reports increasing difficulty distinguishing between eating utensils and concert equipment.
- Health and Safety updates include "proper wotagei form" in training materials
- Management concerned about rising "super chat" charges on company credit cards.
