Below is a transcription of the Dossiers recovered by Agent V following his access of the KFP Accounting Department.
Title

From V:

I just don't get it,

I'm in the accounting department, and it just doesn't make sense.

Office supplies are constantly being lost, but the uniform budget is...decreasing?

Ah, out of time. I gotta move. Let me know where we're headed next.

Where did these coupons come from?

Here's the dossier I found. Something's very off about this place, and we need to get to the bottom of it.
Title

ITEM: KFP-UN002 "KIKKERIKI APRON"

Description: A cheerful, colorful service apron in KFP colors with ticc ties that happen to be adjustable, and many useful pockets. Standard issue to all KFP Class H Team Members. Optional smaller Kikkeriki aprons available for reclassified Class C Team Members upon feather and beak inspection.

Notable Observations:

  • Multiple reports of pockets containing items not previously stored
  • Statistically significant (P ≤ 0.05) increase in reports of compliments upon wearing
  • Testing equipment shows only "cotton blend" despite documented anomalies
  • Bottom left pocket consistently most reliable for item retrieval
  • Statistically significant (P ≤ 0.0001) increase in ability to serve upon wearing

Incident Log KFP-UN002-789:
Date: ██/██/24 

Notes: Team Member C-6223 discovered receipts containing week-old order tickets. Carbon dating suggests tickets from future shift schedule. Research Division Team Member reprimanded with the usual for not understanding how carbon dating works. Results inconclusive. Carbon dating machine manufacturer refused return and refund of carbon dating machine.

 

Incident Log KFP-UN002-423:
Date: ██/██/24

Notes: During initial test deployment of KFP-UN002, Team Member C-8832 achieved previously unachievable serving levels. Subsequent investigation revealed KFP-UN002’s ticc ties had automatically adjusted to a configuration optimal for service. Team Member insists they were "taking the crown" during peak serving impact, but could not adequately explain how they arrived at that conclusion or the methodology behind it. Training department requests footage of the incident, but were denied upon suspicions of ulterior motives.

 

Incident Log KFP-UN002-556: 
Date: ██/██/24 

Notes: Team Member C-4245 reached into pocket for permanent marker, retrieved fully assembled and stocked office supply cabinet that delayed and impeded lunch service. Team Member C-4245 severely reprimanded for causing impedances during service, and sent to the Usual Room. Subsequent attempts to replicate phenomenon produced only normal pens(never permanent markers) and three expired coupons for the defunct Phoenix Burgers. Office supply cabinet was never found after that service, and remains missing. See related: Incident Report KFP-UN002-837 regarding displacement of items.

Additional Notes: Aprons appear to develop additional properties based on length of service. Senior Team Members report increased pocket capacity and enhanced confidence. Research Division unable to determine if confidence boost is anomalous or simply the result of having somewhere to hide hands during awkward conversations.