ITEM: KFP-R001 "KFP CHICKEN PAITAN RAMEN" 

Description: A delicious, perpetually simmering, rich and nutritious chicken paitan ramen broth maintained in The Eternal Flame Kitchen's central cauldron. When packaged, crispy chicken skin crumbles from an undisclosed source are added. Broth volume remains constant despite continuous service, with replenishment occurring through currently unknown mechanisms. Research Division notes unprecedented protein content and nutritional completeness that defies conventional food science.

Initial proposal submitted by C-727 in response to the new health department head’s concerns. Argued that constant boiling temperature of broth would eliminate any contamination risks from avian staff members. Notes in margins: “Besides, worst case scenario just improves the flavor profile...”

Notable Observations:

• Broth demonstrates impossible flavor density exceeding known culinary limitations, attributed to former Michelin-star expertise merged with secret KFP processes.
• Testing equipment routinely registers flavor compounds as "DELICIOUS" regardless of whether or not the digital readout is capable of producing lettering.
• Research Division reports concerning correlation between consumption frequency and "suspicious vitality," possibly due to the inclusion of every vitamin and mineral. 
• Customers noted having a tendency to say "wait, this is healthy?" while continuing to eat, and promptly forgetting that it’s healthy in an average of 6.9 seconds.
• Quality Control puzzled by how previously impossible protein content in the noodles are crafted, insisting that it should be impossible to make through the traditional rolling process, and especially impossible using real kansui. Research Division responded with “skill issue”. Quality Control requests Research Division receive time in the usual room.
• Competing chains occupying the health food sector noted filing formal complaints about "unfair competition" citing "you can't make ramen healthy and taste good that's illegal or something"
• Small batch production team demonstrates unusual resistance to, as Research Division notes, “everything, somehow,” but would like to note they are strangely weak to splinters and papercuts.

Incident Log KFP-FD001-238:
Date: ██/██/24 

Notes: Team Member C-7721 attempted unauthorized broth inspection during shift. Witnesses describe resulting incident as "aggressive flavor enhancement." Security footage shows only a brief flash of orange light and floating feathers that quickly dissipated. Team Member reassigned to undisclosed job. Subsequent taste tests revealed notable improvement in umami profile. HR notes if there WERE medical expenses, which they stress there was certainly not, it would be 100% covered by company insurance.

Incident Log KFP-FD001-884: 
Date: ██/██/24 

Notes: Local health department inspection team attempted routine nutritional analysis. Inspectors emerged from facility with reported "vibrant glow-up" and submitted report consisting solely of the word "yes" written in calligraphy. Subsequent follow-up inspection teams found the same result. Further inspections canceled, citing “we can’t have these guys constantly looking so much better than everyone else it’s really unfair”

Incident Log KFP-FD001-772: 
Date: ██/██/24 

Notes: Quality Control Team discovered broth appears to age backwards when observed through security cameras. Footage review reveals broth maintaining consistent color while calendar in background cycles randomly through multiple centuries. Security footage timestamps simultaneously display years 1254, 1876, 2024, and "next Tuesday". Eternal Kitchen clock now runs counterclockwise on Wednesdays, but only when directly observed.

Additional Notes:

• Management reminds staff that "extra crispy" incident reports require separate forms (See: Standard Incident 4683.23)
• Quality Control reports increasing difficulty distinguishing between broth age and phoenix lifecycles
• Class H Team Members reminded that "but I love noods" not valid excuse for unauthorized access
• C-Class retention rate remains "mysteriously perfect" despite numerous documented incidents
• Definitely made with real chicken as the first ingredient!